Relationships are Organic

co2_2

I hate when famous people break up and they show a clip from 2005 where the couple says they are very happy and content in their marriage.  And inevitable, the commentary goes the way of ‘perhaps she was covering something up because now they are divorced,’ not taking into consideration that the initial clip was from 10 years ago.  And those who view the relationship through their own eyes try to analyze the demise of a relationship they know little of.  Perhaps they were never happy.  Perhaps he cheated.  Perhaps people like to make up stuff to fit narratives in their heads. People refuse to see that relationships are organic and change over time.  Just because they were happy in that moment in time does not guarantee that it will stay like that forever.  People change and situations change and in turn, the dynamics of the relationship change.

People want to know what led to the break up so they can feel satisfied in knowing what happened, but they seldom care about the individuals themselves.  If we view success as never breaking up, how do we react to those who can’t leave a bad relationship?  The demise of a relationship means the relationship ended, but it doesn’t mean the person lost.  Oftentimes, we view break ups with a victor and a loser and love to assign blame, but in actuality, break ups can be one of the most healthy things to happen in a relationship.  It is nothing to be ashamed of or looked down on.  It is also none of anyone’s business what happened in that relationship except for the two who were in it.  Just like relationships are organic, so are we as human beings.  We are growing and learning all the time, and perhaps, we can learn to be a little more understanding.

Those who can’t create destroy.

maxresdefault

 

To create and bring forth is to harness a sort of power.  When you create something from nothing, you gain a sense of godliness because you have made something.  There is power in creating and power is always sought after.  I really came to understand this when I read The Girl with the Pearl Earring.  The artist in the book holds power because he creates, but his wife also wanted power, so she created children.  To give life to someone is the greatest power of all.  And if you can’t create, you destroy, because there is power in that as well.  Those who take a life also feel the power that they hold when they decide to do so.  Those who tear down what others build learn they can be just as powerful as those who create.  We remember creators and destroyers alike, for they have bled into our lexicon and world.  If it were not for Ed Gein, there would be no Pyscho, Texas Chain Saw Massacre, and Silence of the Lamb.

The Next Level

We’re all looking for the next level, whether it be personal or for all of mankind.  What is the next level?  It’s the perceived idea of where we should be.  There is no real next level.  It simply exists in our minds as an ideal.  And yet, we reach for it because we know we must do better.  It is this notion that separates us from other species, for we aspire to more.  Ambition is our strength and weakness, for we seek it without knowing how to get there.  Personally, many of us are wondering what our lives mean.  Not on a grand scale, but just our individual lives.  On a whole, we want to know ‘when are we going to get flying cars?’  Many people speak of the next level, but very few know how to get there.

On a personal level, I’ve heard people ask before what it all means.  How their life fits into this?  They want to know answers.  The questions always differ, but in the end, they want answers.  I can give you an answer:  nobody can answer it and help you but yourself.  Honestly, it is not the answer you are truly seeking for it will bring you no joy.  What you should seek is who you are and what you want out of this life.  If no one can help you in this journey, that means you only have yourself, and if you do not build yourself, then you will not reach the end.  Once you have worked on who you are, you will come to realize that it was you you were searching for all along.  Everything else is secondary.  When you find yourself, you find your place in the world and see how it all fits.  When you haven’t found yourself, you feel like an outsider.

On a global scale, people want to know when our lives will resemble that of a science fiction movie or novel.  I can tell you when: when there is no more hunger and homelessness.  If we cannot take care of societies’s most basic needs, we will never progress as a people.  The only way you can judge a nation’s success is between the gap between the poor and the rich.  Once people have found themselves, they are more apt to see their role in society and help others.  Once they see how society functions, they will realize that we must all work as one and that we are no better than the poorest among us.  When you have eliminated these basic needs, people will be able to function better and contribute more to society.  Once they contribute more, society as a whole becomes more enlightened.  So you see, the next level is about being selfless and that is where change comes from.

How to Start a Revolution: The Powerful and the Wrath of the Mob

french_revolution_4

The French Revolution changed the face of mankind the social structure of who we are because people were angry and demanded change that was not materializing.  When those in the aristocracy and clergy went along with rules that always favored them in a time of want, those under them rose up and had their heads on a platter.  There will always be those who are in power.  There will always be factions that curry favor and are above the law because of who they are.  There will always be the rich and the powerful, but there is one thing that they cannot escape, and that is the wrath of the mob.  Those who are powerful can escape prison sentences, skirt laws, not pay taxes, and commit murder with impunity, but the one thing they are not above is the anger of the mob.  Remember that when you think you hold no power.

Mob mentality is not always great as it can lead to unjust lynchings, mass hysteria, and general havoc, but it can also bring about revolution.  The anger of the mob is what elected Donald Trump and that means it is not something to be ignored.  It may not always be right, but we must acknowledge that there is much power there and that it transcends those with money and high positions.  The French Revolution brought about many modern changes, but it also brought the death of many innocent people who were swept up in the search for equality.  Sometimes, in the fight for equality, you forget that the people you oppose are still the people you should fight for and infringe on their rights.

If we are to progress forward, there must be anger from the mob, because for so long, the elite rich have taught us not to envy them their ‘earned’ pay.  That we are not to question what they do with their money because they have worked for it, and as such, we have bought into this idea because we decry those who misuse five hundred dollars of food stamps, but do not bat an eye when the Koch brothers’ PAC gave  $1 million to the Republican Governors Association, who then  spent $65,000 on independent expenditures in support of Governor Scott Walker, whose bill to kill collective bargaining rights for public-sector unions has sparked many protests across Wisconsin.  Or how about a private concert thrown by David Bonderman that cost $7 million?  How is it that we have been conditioned to be upset about poor people who misuse their government allowances, but not the millions of dollars that are wasted on lavish parties and politics? Where is the outrage?

If they keep your outrage at bay long enough and tell you that you can’t be upset at them because they have actually ‘earned’ their money, they hope you will direct your anger about your situation else where and blame those who supposedly do not work for their keep and are asking for hand outs.  When you do that, you keep the revolution at bay and won’t go after the rich and powerful because you believe that they get away with everything all the time anyways. So you start to believe that they have a right to spend their money as they please because they ‘earned’ it, while you barely survive paycheck to paycheck like a large majority of Americans.  How long can you live like this until you realize that the power of the mob is stronger than the power of the rich?  It has taken down kings and men of God alike, and it will fuel a new revolution.

 

Immigrant Guilt: Living the American Dream

I’ve been up since 8 sitting in bed and watching videos. I only decided to get up because McDonald’s breakfast ends at 10 30 and now, I’m back in bed lounging about. Sometimes, I think, what would my ancestors and the people who came before me think about how lazy I am? I think everyone who is a 1st or 2nd generation immigrant has that immigrant guilt. Like, when they were running through the jungles of Laos, dodging bullets and jaguars ( I don’t know if there were jaguars. It’s not like I know that much about Laos), were they thinking ‘someday, my progeny is going to have the chance to do great things,’ and meanwhile, I’m just here eating my Egg Mcmuffin. It’s delicious. It tastes like hard-earned freedom. But you know what? They didn’t know about how great Youtube was. Or about how entertaining Netflix could be. They came from a time and a place where if half your children survived, you were considered lucky. And I do consider myself lucky, because I could not have made it in the rice paddies of Laos. I have Rosacea, which makes me allergic to the light, and Asthma, which means I’m weak as well. I would be the most useless person ever there, but not here. Here, it’s like I was born to watch Netflix inside my air-conditioned home with the blinds drawn while eating fast food. So, I have to thank you for risking your lives so I can do what I excel at: nothing.

Analyzing Trump’s Twitter Posts

 

Trump’s often erratic Twitter posts give insight into what kind of person he is. Oftentimes, people give him more credit than he is due because they don’t fully understand the writing errors he makes.  As a graduate with an English degree, I myself have made many mistakes, but usually, these mistakes are because I didn’t proof-read my writing or because I am careless.  In analyzing Trump’s writing, it is clear that he does not have a good grasp of proper writing techniques and instead, is writing how he speaks. This leads to many misunderstanding who he is and what he is speaking about.

In this post, he capitalizes the word ‘leakers’ needlessly because that is how he would naturally speak that phrase.  If he were speaking, he would put emphasis on that word, but he doesn’t understand the context it provides in the written form. This may be because he is not familiar with the written word and how it differs from the spoken word.

In this post, he is using quotation marks to try to undermine what he is speaking about.  If capitalization was the moment he tries to emphasize a word, quotations is the moment is trying to be sarcastic.  As you can see, it does not translate well in the written form once again.

In this post, he is using a hyphen that is not needed, but I believe that if he were making a speech, this would be the moment he would pause for dramatic effect.  As it is, the hyphen does not make much grammatical sense where it is now.

In this post, he speaks in the third person. When someone does that, they are usually distancing themselves from a part of themselves.  He often speaks in the third person, which some people infer to as a grandiose sense of himself, which may be.  Personally, I think a person who believes in himself that much would always refer to themselves in the first person to give themselves credit for a deed well done, but if they are referring to themselves in a third party, I believe they know some semblance of truth and are fracturing who they are to distance themselves from that other person.

In this post, you can see he uses a lot of adjectives to describe something he is speaking about.  This is usually done when someone is exaggerating.  When you exaggerate, your words also show it because you need qualifiers to convince even yourself of what you subconsciously know is incorrect.  When you actually start to believe in the hyperbole that you espouse, your judgement begins to cloud and suddenly, there is no gray anymore, but rather just the black and the white.

What you can discern through these posts is that he is unraveling at the seems.  You can see that he does not fully understand the written word and how others perceive it. Because he cannot see how others perceive him, he is stuck in a bubble of his own making, where he makes his own truths and qualifies them himself.  He is, however, acutely aware of his detractors and makes many remarks to defend himself in the face of their opposition.  When that happens, he sees himself as the victim, for he cannot fathom what he did to bring it on himself.  In conclusion, he does not hold himself responsible for anything and is always in search of things to either qualify himself or to bring down someone else in order to qualify himself even more.

Failure’s Purpose is to Humble You

400px-double-alaskan-rainbow

When you encounter a setback or a stumbling block in life, know that life is not trying to ruin you.  The purpose of failure is to humble you.  What happens when you become humble?  You see beyond yourself.  You see how your life fits in the world and how it is intertwined with the fate of those around you and those you will never meet.  Being humble means crying about someone dying in a bar and having an acquaintance tell you that it’s not as bad as you think because they have no idea why you are crying, but you simply accept it because you know they are trying their best without trying to inflict pain.  Being humble means showing compassion to those who never showed you any.  Being humble means being thankful for all the good and bad things that have ever happened to you.

A funny thing happens when you become humble.  You shed your skin of vulnerability, for you no longer fear defeat.  Defeat becomes your friend and you find you are capable of the impossible suddenly.  There are those who will continue to lament the very real tragedies in their lives, but when they refuse to see the good in the tragedy, they still open themselves up to the rift of pain that exists and they can never escape that cycle of self-inflicted pain.  How do you see the good?  Realize that the world does not revolve around you, but that instead, you exist to make the world a better place.  If you let yourself be defeated by defeat, you wallow in a kind of selfish pity that threatens you with only more defeat.  But if you’ve become immune to defeat, you can become selfless.

You should never court failure, but if it does happen, welcome it as the humbling agent it is.  For only those who have tasted defeat knows how sweet success does taste.

A Special Kind of Minority: O’Reilly & Jones

marchonwa-600

There is power in being oppressed.  Power in being a victim.  Power in being the David, who slays the giant.  And as such, some have usurped the cloak of the small man to their advantage, such as Bill O’Reilly and Alex Jones.  They claim they are the minority and are the ones being mistreated.  What this allows for is the anger they spew and the fear-mongering they spread like a disease.  When they label themselves as the outsider, they are allowed to be angry and upset at the imaginary giants that they are fighting.  They become the oppressed, and the oppressed are allowed to voice their opinions.  When this occurs, they have shifted the dynamic and to acknowledge reality would be to shift the dynamic back, and as such, they cannot live in facts.  Everyone is allowed to live in their own world, but when their voice is the voice that millions subscribe to, it becomes a dangerous message of perceived inequality.

I once read Yahoo comments, where casual commentors asked the Muslim community to prove themselves to ‘real’ Americans.  One man in particular, who identified himself as Muslim, went to great lengths to try to prove his loyalty, and all it got him was a comment saying it wasn’t enough.  There is no logic in the game of control and power, for that is where the real fight lies.  When you usurp the cause of the down-trodden and call for change when you don’t really own the cause, there is no end to the thirst for your kind of justice because your justice has always been skewed.  Those who subscribe to such views spouted by these two men are looking to gain power over those who they perceive have taken their power.  It doesn’t matter how much the other party is willing to give in, because it wasn’t a real fight to begin with.

Power and the greed for power and control can do viscous things to people.  And for those who are constantly accused of being the oppressor, the next best move is to set yourself up as an oppressed minority that is in search of the truth, but the truth never satisfies.  Having power means owning the ability to tell someone who is different than you to prove their loyalty and never accepting what they offer because you simply don’t believe them.  Power is muting the voices of those who march against you because you don’t believe in their cause.  Power is shutting down a movement because it does not affect you or the people you know.  For if you can’t win the oppressed, you may as well join them as the ones the oppressed oppress.  That’s a special kind of minority.

The Loneliness of not being Authentic

07gubar-tmagarticle

I recently read a newspaper article detailing how today’s society is reporting many more people feeling lonely than ever before.  I find it hard to believe that people feel so lonely in a time where we are more connected than ever.  You can find your niche and people with the touch of the keyboard.  Mobile phones, social media, and the internet allow us to be in touch with others like no other time in history, so why is that we are reporting more loneliness?  Many say it’s because we’re having more superficial interactions with others, but no one quite knows how to deal with it.  Here’s a thought: stop being superficial.  That’s probably harder than you think, though.

The reality is that we live in a society that prizes success and as such, many shy away from speaking about what has gone wrong in their lives.  We build our social medias to portray the best that we have to offer, rarely speaking of what is really lurking behind the mask.  It is expected that we put our best foot forward.  When someone asks how your day is going, the correct response is ‘good,’ no matter if it is or not.  We expect only to hear about the good things from others and they start to show only the success they’ve had in their life, which causes a rift between reality and polite niceties that are required.  What is happening is that we are not having authentic connections with each other because we expect each other to always be positive.  When we filter our conversations, our pictures, and our posts, we filter our authenticity.

Loneliness can occur from many things such as moving somewhere new or having someone leave our lives that we were once close to, but there is a different kind of loneliness that is creeping into our lives in the present day.  It leaves us unsatisfied with ourselves and with who we are, so we seek it out in the outside world, never realizing we can’t fill the hole that is within us.  We’ve learned to politely lie so well to the world that we have begun lying to ourselves.  We crave success and acceptance so much that we forgo our failures.  Failure is what can bring you to authenticity.  When you speak about your failure, you become vulnerable and allow others to become vulnerable as well.  They then allow themselves to speak about their failures and connect with you.  You can always strive to reach success, but you must connect with failure, for that’s when we are truly authentic: when we have nothing left to lose.