I’m not cut from the cloth of Rhonda Byrne’s The Secret.  I don’t believe that you can visualize what you want and it will come to you.  Attraction is about something unspoken and visceral.  You can feel it.  It seizes you and makes your heart palpitate.  Some confuse it for love, but it is merely a physical attribute.  Some also infer other attributes to a person who is attractive, which can be false.  For me, I strip down attraction to what it really is: the ability to engage someone based off your initial first impression.  What separates someone who is successful in this field to someone who is not?  I can tell you it’s not just their physical appearance. Although this plays a major role in determining a person’s attractiveness, a person who is not as attractive can become more successful if they are confident.

Let’s go through that quintessential moment where you first lock eye with someone. Within a few seconds, you are each sizing each other up and determining if you find this person attractive.  Deeper than that, you can feel how a person thinks about themselves by how they carry themselves and how confident they are.  Confidence is sexy because it means the person values themselves and many people want a prize.  They want someone that everyone else wants: someone who is hard to attain because they are valuable.  You can gage how valuable they are by how they value themselves.  If a person holds themselves to higher standards, it shows in every facet of who they are: their speak, their gestures, their walk, their mannerisms.  A person who is confident conveys it in their appearance, how they treat others, and how they allow themselves to be treated because they value who they are and others can see it as well in the span of a few seconds.

Confidence is the only defining factor that separates those who have a highly charged first impression from those who are also attractive but lacking confidence.  You can take twins, where one is more confident than the other and people will be naturally drawn to the confident one.  When you are confident, you will also attract people who are more confident as well.  This is the moment of attraction: when you lock eyes with someone and you don’t look away because you are so sure of who you are that you make them feel this as well.  This is attraction.  Attraction is not merely wanting something, but building who you are internally until it manifests externally so that others can sense who you are. This is true charisma.  The ability to believe wholly in yourself.  That is what people are attracted to