Damaged people choose damaged mates

There are those of us who wonder why they keep choosing the wrong person every time.  There could be a plethora of reasons why, but in most cases, it is because they themselves are also damaged in some way, so they seek out partners who are also damaged because picking a partner who isn’t damaged will point out their glaring faults and the fact that they actually need to work on themselves.  When the other person is just as damaged, they do not need to look within themselves as to what they need to work on, but rather project all their problems onto their other half, and exclaim that if only this person shaped up, their lives would be much better, when in fact, the majority of these individuals will go on to choose the same type of partner if they never own up to what is in their past.

Sometimes, when someone who is more well-adjusted gets in a relationship with a person who is damaged, they will try to fix them.  A damaged person will always let you know that you are too good for them.  They do not say it with words, but with their actions.  If they belittle you all the time, they are trying to lower your self-esteem and bring you down to their ‘perceived’ level.  If they ever cheat on you, they are letting you know that you are too good for them and that they are giving you an opportunity to leave.  You can never fix a damaged person unless the person in question wants to be fixed.  Oftentimes, that person is in denial about who they are and will bring you down to make themselves feel better.  The best thing you can do for them is to leave, which will cause them to become more introspective, but if you stay, they have no reason to change.

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