Unconditional Vs Conditional Love


Some people think a relationship with mutual unconditional love is true love, but it isn’t.  So what is the difference between them?  Unconditional love means that you’ll continue to love a person no matter what happens.  Conditional love means you’ll only love them if they follow your rules.  Sometimes, we get the two mixed up and think that we have to love our romantic partner unconditionally, so we keep taking abuse to prove how much we love them.  That is not true love.  True love means loving someone so much that you want to give them the best, even if it means leaving them.  If you truly love someone, you will know that they are growing as a person and that may mean they can grow more without you and you can let them.

What happens if you stay in a unconditional love relationship?  It’s not healthy.  You should not love someone unconditionally because that it what’s been handed down to you.  The only time you should ever love anyone unconditionally is if you have a child.  Other than that, to have a respectful and nurturing relationship, you must change the terms of your relationship and your love to conditional.  Oftentimes, those who are looking for unconditional love from a romantic relationship are seeking out the unconditional love they are lacking from their parental relationship.  It is not healthy to confuse the two and believe that someone will love you no matter what you do.  What this does is set the relationship up for failure because either party believes they can do whatever they want and still be loved.

It’s okay to feel guilty if you can’t offer unconditional love because that’s what you’ve been taught your whole life to give, but do not feel guilty for leaving.  When you leave, you  are allowing them to grow and allowing yourself the respect that you deserve.  If you stay knowing that you are being disrespected, you help to lower your own self esteem and it becomes a viscous cycle.  Love like you’ve never been hurt, but also love with respect for yourself.

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