My grandmother just recently passed and it’s been rough adjusting to someone who’s been so present in my life. She was the one who I snuggled up to when I was afraid. The one who treated my skinned knees. And the one who told me I would be okay. And now she’s gone. I recorded a video of her and at the end, I asked her if we could come back to record some more and I cried because we never did go back and I regret it. However, I know I must be grateful for what we did do and the time I had spent with her. Oftentimes, when someone passes, all we can think about is what we missed out on, but we forget about what we were able to have with that person.
I have to let go of the guilt and the what ifs. She’ll never see me walk down the aisle, but she did see me finally happy with someone. I wished I would’ve spent more time with her during her last days, but I had spent my lifetime by her side. To let go of the person, we also have to let go of these regrets for they only do damage. If we are not able to let go, we will always have negative feelings when we remember the person we lost. Instead, I know I must celebrate who she was and what she meant to me. She has made an impact and she has changed my life and that’s all I need to remember of her. One day, I will also leave and I hope I will have changed a life as well.