Tag: faith

Who’s Afraid of a Little Death?

Who’s Afraid of a Little Death?

As I get older and and closer to the end, the more I think about my own demise, leading me on an existential crisis, where I question everything. I know it will happen, but it still strikes fear in me the finality of it all. The bleakness. The darkness. What happens to us after we die? Where do we go? I guess this is the stuff that midlife crises are made of. Death comes for us all, but many fear what it brings. I fear losing who I am and what I’ve built and I fear the unknown. The only thing that tethers me back to reality is the thought of my family, especially my son. I have to remind myself that the only way for me to be able to experience having a son was to be born, to live, and to die. That is the trade-off. In exchange for death, we get to experience life in all of its grandeur and terribleness. We get to love, laugh, cry, and experience emotions we wouldn’t be able to otherwise. Although this comforts me, the thought inevitably seeps back into my mind and I am flooded with anxiety.

Death also shows us how precious life is and how we need to enjoy it while we can. There are people who seek out death for medical reasons, and I think they should have that right, but for the majority of us, we need to be reminded of the gift of life and what it means for us. It means to be able to smell flowers, to glide your hand through water, and to love. Love transcends so many things, even death. After we leave, there will still be those that love us and remember us. Whether there is an afterlife is up for debate, but I do know that I’m glad for this chance to experience this life at this moment with these people. Death can also connect us in that we must all experience the grief of losing someone and know that those who come after us will also experience the same grief. Instead of being siloed in our grief, we can see that even in these moments, we are still connected.

Perhaps death is the great equalizer, for we know it waits for no one. There are billionaires who fight death with underground bunkers, private estates, and doomsday prepping, but even they can’t escape their fate. Perhaps they need to be reminded that no amount of money can give them eternal life, but it can help their fellow man live an easier life. Perhaps death exists to still humble us and show us that we still have that in common with our neighbors. As many of us age, some of us really start to take our health seriously, knowing we have limited time on this earth. Youth is made for mistakes, but our older age is made for corrections. Instead of fighting death, we should think of the legacy we leave behind. Who are we if we not trying to make the future better for those who come after us?

For me, I do believe in an afterlife. I believe our souls go on and seek out other experiences. That doesn’t make the thought of death any more palatable. We are learning all the time, and I believe death is another experience where we must learn to let go.

Photo by Aron Visuals on Unsplash

Don’t Block Your Own Blessings

Don’t Block Your Own Blessings

Recently, I had my Tarot cards read and they told me that I need to let things go or I would not come into the wealth that was coming to me. Whether you believe in Tarot cards or not, it opened up my eyes that the anger I hold towards those who have wronged me prevents me from growing. Whichever way wisdom comes to you, take it, and as such, I stopped and listened with my whole heart, putting aside my hurt, frustration, and walls. The cards said that I worried too much about money while I had an abundant life, but it was really my past that was preventing me from achieving the highest of my goals and in that moment, I had to admit that I did have a problem. I had a problem with people who lied about who I am and what I’ve done for their own gain and it weighed heavily on me what they had done, but I realized I did not have to forgive them to move on. Forgiveness is absolution, and for me, I could never absolve them of their sins, but I could stop giving my thoughts and feelings to them.

It’s hard to sit back and think that you are simply going to lie down and let someone who tramples over you win, but it’s even harder to imagine that you may be blocking your own blessings by continuing to hold on to these grudges. I realized that if I let it go, it doesn’t make me weak or less than. Instead, it pushes me to be a better person while strengthening my inner circle and demanding more of the people I work with. I can become a better person because of it and learn that not every person is there to help. While it can be easy to wallow in the anger and hurt of what happened, it does not pay to be in that space for too long. We must trust that the karma we put out into the world will return to us and the people who wrong us will receive their karma as well. In doing so, we are free of these chains and open to the blessings that are meant to come our way.

Letting go is oftentimes much easier to talk about than do, and letting go can be an arduous and long process that allows us to explore our pain points and be vulnerable to critique. Stay vigilant of how you talk and who you talk about. While words are often used to express how we feel, they may sometimes lead to actions that we may regret. Redirect your feelings and actions towards positive activities that can help enact change for yourself and others. Try writing a letter to those who you want to cut ties with and burn the letter. Whatever you do, acknowledge it with words and actions. Speak to the world and let it be known that you are cutting ties and will no longer be investing your time and energy into these people. The spoken and written word is much more powerful than we think as they can set our intentions and light a path for us. Lastly, I do this not for them, but for me. I am worth so much more than the words they say about me, and I will put an intention into the world that I will no longer speak of them because it only serves to block my blessings and I can’t afford that.