Author: mindsetrevolution83

How to marry your soulmate

How do you find the person your soul is searching for and finally end up with them? You can increase your chances of meeting your soul mate if you find happiness in yourself.  When you are content, you will attract people who are also fulfilled within themselves.  Become the best version of yourself you can.  Let go of regret and fear and embrace what the future may bring, even if it is not what you intended.  Even if you do not find a soul mate, you will find someone who is healthy in their soul and mind as you are.  How do you become such a person?  Become a person that you love and are proud of.  Someone you would date.  Learn to care about yourself first before you can start to care about someone else.  Ideally, we would be a complete person before we start dating, but we are developing ourselves our whole lives, so we are incomplete people dating other incomplete people.  Just recognize that you are worth someone who is worthy of you.  That does not mean waiting forever for an imaginary white knight or lady, but a compatible person who gets your jokes, who worries about what time you’ll come home, and thinks about your futures together.

So does everyone marry their soulmate?  The answer is the vast majority of us will not.  We grow up with these notions that we should hold out for the right one or that there is one true person out there for us, and this is what hinders us in our search for a partner.  Sometimes, we do find this person whom we have immediate sparks with and it doesn’t work out, so we become bitter because we didn’t get what we thought we were promised.  We shouldn’t be searching for a soulmate, but a partner.  The word ‘soulmate’ has connotations of being this other half that completes us, and unfortunately, most people will fall short of this definition.  How can someone complete us if we don’t even know who we are?  Do we even have soulmates?  Yes, and if we are very lucky, we may even meet them.  Very few and far in between, we will end up marrying them.  Life does not always work the way we want, for we could meet our soul mate when we are both in our fifties and married to other people.  What do you do?  Are you able to break up two marriages to pursue true love?  What if your soul mate dies in an accident the very next day?  What if your soul mate isn’t ready to be in a relationship, which has nothing to do with you?

Oftentimes, we assign that word to people who are no longer in our lives because we feel a lost connection with them.  We idolize their memory and make them into something they never were, and as such, the current person we are with can never measure up to them.  Soulmates are real, but we are arbitrarily assigning that word to people we can’t be with because we have unresolved feelings towards them.  We have to recognize the importance of living in the moment of the relationship we are currently in.  See that it is a privilege to be with someone, but make sure you are secure in who you are, for if you are not, every relationship you have will deteriorate.  Mostly, you will find through your relationships who you are and what you are willing to accept and take.  Sometimes, the best thing we can find in the closure of a relationship is our strength.  We must learn to accept defeat, for we prolong bad relationships because we refuse to acknowledge that they are not working.  The defeat does not mean we failed, it only means we cared more about ourselves than a dying relationship.

If you are not happy with them, leave.  There is no need to prolong a relationship that will not last.  You are only keeping them from finding who they should be with or preventing them from growth.  Yes, they may mature into the person you always wanted them to be after the break up, but they would never be that person when you were with them because they had no incentive to change.  To break off a relationship is a hardship in and of itself, but that’s for another discussion.  We let the word ‘soulmate’ cloud our judgement and our hearts and we feel we are somehow cheated, so we become jaded because life will not give us what we want.  Let the word go, because we have built it into something it no longer means.  A soul mate is simply someone who we feel a deep connection with, but it does not always mean we will marry them.  First and foremost, the deepest relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.  If you learn to enjoy who you are, respect your own boundaries, and love your insecurities, you will be able to protect and value this relationship first before any other.  And others will recognize this confidence you carry and be drawn to you because they see the value you place on yourself.  Perhaps this is the only soulmate you should worry about marrying: your own soul, because everything else will fall into place when you find your inner soulmate.

What is the meaning of life?

What is the meaning of life?  The answer is simpler than you think.  Actually, everything is pretty simple when you lay it bare, but it’s because we layer it with our beliefs, cultures, and biases that we lose the essence of the question. When answers are convoluted and hard to grasp, they are not the true answers because we have made them into something they are not.  Everything I will lay before you is easy to follow and not incredibly earth-shattering, but they will inevitably change your mindset, and that is exactly what I’m setting out to do.  When we start to strip away all these things that have propelled us into modern-day living, we start to see again what we did when we were children.  Children are free from self-doubt and the social rules of life.  They can accept what is and isn’t there because that is what they see.  And yet, we as adults think we know more than them because we can see the man behind the curtain.  When we think this, we lose the ability to see with fresh and innocent eyes.

I’ve been listening to audio books lately when I’m at work and just recently finished The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which prompts the question of what is the meaning of life?  The quintessential question of our lives.  Why is this particular question so important?  Is it important? We want to know why we were created.  For a long time, I’ve known the general answer and in reality, most people do.  The answer is that we are alive and not dead.  When we are alive, we must make the best of what we have and live our lives to the fullest.  That means finding joy and happiness where we can.  How do we  become happy?  Through gratitude.  You must find gratitude for all the good things that have happened to you and especially the bad things.  We should not rejoice in the bad things, but choose to be grateful because these traumatic events have shaped us into who we are.  When you choose to be grateful for all the things in your life, you can gain happiness. That is the meaning, but not our purpose in life.  That is another question altogether.  As all living things, we were created to live, but this does not make us feel alive.  We want to know why.

Lately, death has been on my mind.  As a child, I never really took time to think about it, but now, the weight of it looms on the horizon before I fall asleep.  The finality of death and what comes after haunts my dreams.  No one knows what happens after death and if anyone purports to, you should be wary of them.  Despite what your beliefs are in reincarnation or heaven, death means you will never be the person you are in this life with the people that you know again.  This incarnation of you will only exist once.  We are fearful of death, but death is what gives our lives meaning.  Without death, our lives would stretch out into infinity and everything would become mundane.  With death, we know there is an ending.  We can learn to appreciate every day because we know death will come for us all.  It is in death that we come to value our lives.  Death is inevitable, but instead of fearing it, we should acknowledge our limited time on this earth, for all we can be is happy, for the dead can’t feel anything, only the living can.

Now you know the meaning of life, but you still want to know why.  You want to be fulfilled.  You can pursue happiness, but it doesn’t always guarantee that you will be fulfilled.  Our purpose is to help those around us live better lives so we may all work towards the common goal of reaching the zenith of who we can become as humans.  You can know the meaning of life and be happy, but the only way you can be fulfilled is to help someone else, for our life has no meaning if we cannot be of use.  Everyone’s purpose is unique and it is up to you to figure it out.  To find it, you must also find your voice and your belief in yourself.  You are best equipped to help others when you know exactly who you are and what you want in this life.  Remember, it is a short one, so make sure you are asking yourself the right questions.