How do you find the person your soul is searching for and finally end up with them? You can increase your chances of meeting your soul mate if you find happiness in yourself.  When you are content, you will attract people who are also fulfilled within themselves.  Become the best version of yourself you can.  Let go of regret and fear and embrace what the future may bring, even if it is not what you intended.  Even if you do not find a soul mate, you will find someone who is healthy in their soul and mind as you are.  How do you become such a person?  Become a person that you love and are proud of.  Someone you would date.  Learn to care about yourself first before you can start to care about someone else.  Ideally, we would be a complete person before we start dating, but we are developing ourselves our whole lives, so we are incomplete people dating other incomplete people.  Just recognize that you are worth someone who is worthy of you.  That does not mean waiting forever for an imaginary white knight or lady, but a compatible person who gets your jokes, who worries about what time you’ll come home, and thinks about your futures together.

So does everyone marry their soulmate?  The answer is the vast majority of us will not.  We grow up with these notions that we should hold out for the right one or that there is one true person out there for us, and this is what hinders us in our search for a partner.  Sometimes, we do find this person whom we have immediate sparks with and it doesn’t work out, so we become bitter because we didn’t get what we thought we were promised.  We shouldn’t be searching for a soulmate, but a partner.  The word ‘soulmate’ has connotations of being this other half that completes us, and unfortunately, most people will fall short of this definition.  How can someone complete us if we don’t even know who we are?  Do we even have soulmates?  Yes, and if we are very lucky, we may even meet them.  Very few and far in between, we will end up marrying them.  Life does not always work the way we want, for we could meet our soul mate when we are both in our fifties and married to other people.  What do you do?  Are you able to break up two marriages to pursue true love?  What if your soul mate dies in an accident the very next day?  What if your soul mate isn’t ready to be in a relationship, which has nothing to do with you?

Oftentimes, we assign that word to people who are no longer in our lives because we feel a lost connection with them.  We idolize their memory and make them into something they never were, and as such, the current person we are with can never measure up to them.  Soulmates are real, but we are arbitrarily assigning that word to people we can’t be with because we have unresolved feelings towards them.  We have to recognize the importance of living in the moment of the relationship we are currently in.  See that it is a privilege to be with someone, but make sure you are secure in who you are, for if you are not, every relationship you have will deteriorate.  Mostly, you will find through your relationships who you are and what you are willing to accept and take.  Sometimes, the best thing we can find in the closure of a relationship is our strength.  We must learn to accept defeat, for we prolong bad relationships because we refuse to acknowledge that they are not working.  The defeat does not mean we failed, it only means we cared more about ourselves than a dying relationship.

If you are not happy with them, leave.  There is no need to prolong a relationship that will not last.  You are only keeping them from finding who they should be with or preventing them from growth.  Yes, they may mature into the person you always wanted them to be after the break up, but they would never be that person when you were with them because they had no incentive to change.  To break off a relationship is a hardship in and of itself, but that’s for another discussion.  We let the word ‘soulmate’ cloud our judgement and our hearts and we feel we are somehow cheated, so we become jaded because life will not give us what we want.  Let the word go, because we have built it into something it no longer means.  A soul mate is simply someone who we feel a deep connection with, but it does not always mean we will marry them.  First and foremost, the deepest relationship you will ever have is the one you have with yourself.  If you learn to enjoy who you are, respect your own boundaries, and love your insecurities, you will be able to protect and value this relationship first before any other.  And others will recognize this confidence you carry and be drawn to you because they see the value you place on yourself.  Perhaps this is the only soulmate you should worry about marrying: your own soul, because everything else will fall into place when you find your inner soulmate.