Still waiting for the sparks and fireworks?


Your soul can feel like a frequency and when someone recognizes yours and their frequency harmonizes with yours, you feel a deep connection.  We search for this raw connection in all our relationships, hoping it is the one thing that will lead us to our one true love.  We operate on feelings and wavelengths, but these things only result in emotional attachments, but not actual working relationships.  You can feel love.  You can’t feel someone else’s love for you, but you can feel electricity in the air when you are interested in someone.  You feel a physical and emotional connection that can bond you, but just because you lack these things doesn’t mean you can’t have a successful relationship.  Love in its first incarnation is based on these factors, but these are the factors that eventually fade away in the mundane routines of life.  A relationship is not built on any of these things.  You can love a drug addict with all your heart, but that doesn’t mean your relationship will be good, for that is what feeling love is like: being hooked on drugs.  There are also people who know how to kindle an emotional bond to hook you, but they may not be the best at a relationship.  If you find you’re not feeling the emotional bond or sparks, it doesn’t mean you should just quit.  You need to ask if there is enough there to start the foundation of a relationship.

How does one become an expert at forming emotional bonds but not relationships?  You have to learn to spot the details.  There are tricks to the trade.  A good trick is simply engaging in eye contact for a few seconds to establish a connection.  There’s a lot that goes on when you first look at someone and there’s a lot to be read into them as well, so if you know this trick, you can employ it to your advantage.  Someone can make you feel wanted and secure by lecturing you.  Sometimes, girls feel cared for when a guy looks out for her well-being and makes sure she is safe.  Does every guy who does this aware of what he is doing?  Obviously not, but those who are aware of its advantages can use it for their own gain.  And oddly enough, if they remember some inane detail you uttered and repeat it later to you, you’ll feel as if they are really into you.  The best trick is to tell her personal things about yourself, which makes her feel as if she’s privy to things no one else is.    These things make a girl feel wanted and emotionally connected, but they do not ensure a good relationship.  I’ve seen guys who are really good at this easily snag girls but watch as their relationships deteriorate because they  have no idea how to maintain them.

What does this mean?  Are you settling for a relationship instead of the fireworks and sparks?  Can you have both?  Yes, you can definitely have both, but oftentimes, I see girls hold on to failing relationships because they can’t let go of the sparks they initially felt.  Other times, I see girls taken in by the charms and tricks only to find the guy had no real intentions for a relationship and they wonder if their feelings were real or not.  Recognize them for what they really are and how they affect you.  Your soul is a frequency, but there are people who have learned to tweak it and you are vulnerable to them because you crave the emotional connection so much.  All of our childhoods, we are taught to never settle for less, so we keep letting good guys go because we don’t feel immediate sparks when in actuality, they may just be bad at forming emotional bonds.  Yet, some of us wonder why we keep dating the wrong type of guys when we are only looking for the sparks.

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