Some people just love drama

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You’ve seen it on social media where someone keeps posting about terrible a relationship in their life, but they do nothing about it.  They swing from saying their mate is never around and uses all their money to spouting about how they love them and how they only have one life to spend their happiness.  They ask why they constantly find themselves in this situation and they never look at themselves.  It’s you.  You’re causing all the drama because you crave it.  Some people have no choice but to be drawn into it, while others will periodically have drama-filled episodes, but if someone constantly posts about it, it’s because they want the drama in their life.  If you recognize a pattern that always involves you and don’t change it, you must be getting some value out of staying.

I’m not talking about abusive relationships where someone slowly tears the other down so they can’t leave, but people who stay in tumultuous relationships for the sake of the drama.  A sense of drama sometimes creates balance in your life and it causes you to see where your priorities are, but having too much of it can throw you off.  Those who are drawn to it only know it as their norm.  They live for the high and reassurance that it brings.  Some of these people start drama to regain a sense of normalcy.  This can happen when a couple starts to argue out of nowhere.  It blows up and draws in others.  Their real feelings come out and other things that they’ve been bottling up.  They run through a gamut of feelings ranging from annoyed resentment to mild anger to full-on rage to guilt and to loneliness. It is a circle and it comes full circle every time.

What happens is that a couple fights and goes through this cycle, and they seek the reassurance at the end of it that the other party really does care for them and that they will not do it again, only for it to happen again.  They crave these affirmations, but can only get them through this cycle.  These relationships usually become abusive and thus it is harder to get out, but those who crave drama will continually seek out these type of relationships because they don’t know any other way of expressing themselves.  And so, they continue posting about how terrible their mate is while everyone else thinks about how crazy they are.  Drama really equates to attention.  You receive negative and then positive attention from your mate and attention from other that you elicit through posts that make you out to be the martyr in the relationship.  You don’t care what kind of attention you get as long as it is attention.  Examine why you need this attention and it will usually hearken back to not receiving attention as a child.  That’s pretty broad, but I’ve seen this happen a million times.

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