I happened to catch a reunion episode of Married at First Sight, where people with actual degrees match couples based off of a myriad of personal factors. They are astounded as to why the matches didn’t work out. I can tell you why. These matchmakers are making very good matches, but they don’t take into consideration the individual. Some of these participants may claim they want to be married, but if you delve deeper, you will find they actually are not even prepared for the idea of marriage. This is the first barrier. The second is the baggage the person carries. If they are not okay with themselves, they will bring their issues into the relationship. That’s where your problem is. You expect that these people actually do want to be married and are emotionally secure beings, but for the most part, many of us are not.
You can try to make the best matches you can, but they’ll never work if the individual doesn’t come to terms with their past. It boggles my mind that these experts don’t understand this. They try to treat the couple, but in reality, they need to treat the individual first. I find it irresponsible in this day and age that they don’t realize this, but of course, mentally unstable participants make for the best television. But deep down, I hope the matchmakers really do wish these matches will work out and that they are doing the best they can. If they are, they must know it’s clearly not working. We are our flaws and childhoods, our mistakes and the bad things that happened to us, what we couldn’t control and how we attempt to control it now. We are what we don’t speak of, for we try to project happy appearances at all times to seem successful, and in doing so, we neglect our traumas.