Letting go of what you want

I sometimes wonder what this is all for.  Why we even try at all?  I know all of these things already, but the questions persist because there is so much chaos that exists in this world.  As I mature, I start to see what this world is really about and how it operates and I wonder at how people just blindly accept it, but at the same time, I know this is my reality for the moment.  As a kid, you hope for change and you aspire to be the agent of change, but as you grow, you see that you are but a cog in the machine.  And even without you, the machine churns on.  So what is it that we are to change?  I think we wanted to change the world, but we have to realize the world only changes when we change ourselves and our mindsets.

As emotional beings, we are constantly looking to be fulfilled, and that can be impossible at times, so we feel defeated and lethargic about ourselves and the reality we live in.  It is impossible to feel happy all the time, and we have to accept that.  We look for change in the world perhaps because we want the change to represent us, but if we choose to represent ourselves, the change is already apparent.  When you embody all that you believe in, you are living your truth and others will see it.  You can’t save the world and you can’t even save the people in your life and that is something you have to accept to be happy.  If you keep holding on to the idea that you will be able to enact change in one person or one cause, you will be sorely disappointed.  Know that you are doing your best and that is enough.

Oftentimes, we hold on to ideas because they are what we want the most in the world.  We want our friend to stop seeing that terrible guy.  We want that job promotion.  We want our mother to have a closer relationship to us.  We want a baby.  We want our children to be happy.  What we don’t realize is that if we keep holding on to these desires without any change, we will feel empty and disappointed that life did not go our way.  I’m not saying that you stop trying for these things, but that you stop desiring these things when they are out of your reach.  When you let go of your desire for what you want the most, you are truly free to accept what life gives you and simply enjoy it.  There is too much chaos that exists in this world to guarantee one way or another that you will fulfill your desires, but if you can let go of your expectations, you can change your mindset enough to enjoy what you do have.

Because it hurts the most

She doesn’t have to key your car

Or throw your clothes on the lawn

To hurt you the most.

She does that simply by leaving

Because it hurts the most

When you know you don’t have her.

Her shoulder to rest on.

Her ear to listen to

Her heart to hold yours

Because she will give it all

To someone who deserves her.

And you’ll have to watch her with him

With regret in your eyes

And happiness in hers.

Then the loneliness creeps in

Because no girl will ever quite match up

And your eyes long to tell her,

But she is already gone.


The Fall