Why are we all searching for happiness?  There are times in our lives when we aren’t happy, and I’m not alluding to those who are clinically depressed or need to seek professional help, but those who are just experiencing a time of blue.  It could be that we are feeling miserable, we could feel absolutely nothing, or we are so deeply in denial that it spills out into other areas of our lives.  When we’re this blue, we can only imagine what happiness looks like.  Happiness can look like suicide or the continual denial of where we are because we can’t bear the pain.  For these set of people, there can be no happiness until they confront their issues.  Sometimes, they would rather live in denial than face the mountain of pain that will collapse on them, so they continue to live in misery.  There is no happiness in facing the truth, but there is clarity.  We can’t force anyone to face their truth because it just furthers their denial.  We can only help them in their struggle.  Instead of addressing the outcomes of their struggle, address what they are holding on to.

For others,  happiness is momentary.  It comes and goes with good memories, but that is just momentary happiness.  What they are seeking is true contentment.  True contentment means they are secure in who they are and what they have.  To be content, they must make the decision to be grateful for what they have and who they are.  You must realize that you have a choice to be where you are every day whether you consciously know it or not.  You choose to be here today and there is power in that choice.  You may be pressured to do so, but it is still your choice.  You chose your job every day.  You chose your partner every day.  You chose your friends every day.  You chose to be alive every day.  When you chose these things, you are making a choice to fulfill these relationships and duties.  When you realize that you actually do have a choice, you’ll see how much influence you really have in your life.  You can choose to become a better partner, worker, and friend, or you can choose to let those relationships suffer.  The power is in your grasp.

We seek out momentary pleasures, but it is true contentment we are after.  We want to feel secure in our lives, but we can only  be secure about our out-ward possessions and relationships when we are secure with our inner relationship.  True contentment is not having the ability to be momentarily happy, but the ability to enjoy all of life’s offerings, even the tragic ones.  We don’t need to take pleasure in the horrific events, but to be content in yourself is to be able to find the beauty and joy in even the ugliest of moments and people.  There is beauty all around us that is easily recognizable, but only a few will recognize the beauty that is absent.  When you choose to be grateful for everything, you will start to see the beauty and joy of your life and death.  You can call it Zen, enlightenment, self-actualization, or whatever you want, but there is a peace in accepting life for exactly what it is.

So let’s break this down.  Why are we searching for happiness?  Because we think that is what we should be, but in reality, we’re looking for contentment.  Contentment is the  ultimate acceptance of oneself before you can accept your present.  However, before you can accept your present, you have to acknowledge and accept your past.  It’s incredibly hard to let go, but it can be done, which I’ll talk about in another article.  If you are living in the moment, you will learn gratitude.   Being thankful allows you to connect with your soul and others around you.  When you are conscious of others, you will see your place in the world and what you need to do to help them.  Be conscious of the privileges you’ve had in life and acknowledge them, but most importantly, you must learn to be thankful for the negative things in your life.

If you continue to view these negative things as detrimental, they will shape your outlook on the rest of your life.  People grow up with so much baggage that is incomprehensible.  Those who are white, rich and males are privileged, and as such, if you find you are a woman, poor, or a minority, you feel as if these things are barriers to your success.  The truth is that they are barriers in your physical world, but do not let them become mental barriers.  We start to think that because we are these things, we will never be able to rise, but we are the ones barricading ourselves from what is possible before we even enter the world.  Learn to see these attributes as positive.  When you are a  woman, you know what it is be paid less for the same job.  When you are poor, you know what it is to accused of being lazy.  When you are a minority, you know how it is to be discriminated against.  You know things others don’t, so use them to your advantage, for these things that should hold us back have shaped us into exactly who we are today.  When you choose to be proud of who you are and where you came from, you are accepting your inner relationship.

What is the meaning of life?  The answer is simpler than you think.  Actually, everything is pretty simple when you lay it bare, but it’s because we layer it with our beliefs, cultures, and biases that we lose the essence of the question. When answers are convoluted and hard to grasp, they are not the true answers because we have made them into something they are not.  Everything I will lay before you is easy to follow and not incredibly earth-shattering, but they will inevitably change your mindset, and that is exactly what I’m setting out to do.  When we start to strip away all these things that have propelled us into modern-day living, we start to see again what we did when we were children.  Children are free from self-doubt and the social rules of life.  They can accept what is and isn’t there because that is what they see.  And yet, we as adults think we know more than them because we can see the man behind the curtain.  When we think this, we lose the ability to see with fresh and innocent eyes.

I’ve been listening to audio books lately when I’m at work and just recently finished The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, which prompts the question of what is the meaning of life?  The quintessential question of our lives.  Why is this particular question so important?  Is it important? We want to know why we were created.  For a long time, I’ve known the general answer and in reality, most people do.  The answer is that we are alive and not dead.  When we are alive, we must make the best of what we have and live our lives to the fullest.  That means finding joy and happiness where we can.  How do we  become happy?  Through gratitude.  You must find gratitude for all the good things that have happened to you and especially the bad things.  We should not rejoice in the bad things, but choose to be grateful because these traumatic events have shaped us into who we are.  When you choose to be grateful for all the things in your life, you can gain happiness. That is the meaning, but not our purpose in life.  That is another question altogether.  As all living things, we were created to live, but this does not make us feel alive.  We want to know why.

Lately, death has been on my mind.  As a child, I never really took time to think about it, but now, the weight of it looms on the horizon before I fall asleep.  The finality of death and what comes after haunts my dreams.  No one knows what happens after death and if anyone purports to, you should be wary of them.  Despite what your beliefs are in reincarnation or heaven, death means you will never be the person you are in this life with the people that you know again.  This incarnation of you will only exist once.  We are fearful of death, but death is what gives our lives meaning.  Without death, our lives would stretch out into infinity and everything would become mundane.  With death, we know there is an ending.  We can learn to appreciate every day because we know death will come for us all.  It is in death that we come to value our lives.  Death is inevitable, but instead of fearing it, we should acknowledge our limited time on this earth, for all we can be is happy, for the dead can’t feel anything, only the living can.

Now you know the meaning of life, but you still want to know why.  You want to be fulfilled.  You can pursue happiness, but it doesn’t always guarantee that you will be fulfilled.  Our purpose is to help those around us live better lives so we may all work towards the common goal of reaching the zenith of who we can become as humans.  You can know the meaning of life and be happy, but the only way you can be fulfilled is to help someone else, for our life has no meaning if we cannot be of use.  Everyone’s purpose is unique and it is up to you to figure it out.  To find it, you must also find your voice and your belief in yourself.  You are best equipped to help others when you know exactly who you are and what you want in this life.  Remember, it is a short one, so make sure you are asking yourself the right questions.